


A Night In

by Musafir



Series: Protect This House [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Bat Family, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Married Life, Protective Siblings, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 20:51:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17190176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musafir/pseuds/Musafir
Summary: In which Tim attends a remote meeting with the BatClan and inadvertently learns that they have all given his husband the Bat version of The Talk.





	A Night In

**A Night In**

 

“Crime rates have gone down from 5th and Central to the edge of south, but I’m seeing a spike from South to the docks, Jason do you have anything on that?” Bruce asked. 

 

“Yeah. Maroni’s thugs are bringing something in soon. I’m not sure what yet, chatter has been disappointingly light but I’m sure someone will let something slip soon enough. Its gotta be drugs or weapons, these guys ain’t all that original.” Jason yawned, stretching his arms above his head. 

 

“Hang on, I might have something on that.” Tim interjected. He reached over the monitors displaying Bruce and Jason’s faces and lifted a file from the table. 

 

“So while Timmy is doing that, real quick; anyone else hear about Brucie’s torrid affair with Male Model Sven.” Dick asked cheerfully.

 

Tim shot an amused glance at the laptop that had a split screen, displaying Dick and Damian. He let the conversation wash over him as he sat back against his couch and tried to find the Intel he knew he had gathered. 

 

Check in meetings were hard when they were scattered around the globe, but not impossible. Tim found that he actually preferred it when they all had to connect in remotely; he could give his reports, and no one had to know that he did it in a pair of Kon’s old flannel pajamas that had shrunk in the wash. 

 

Though, not that anyone would care. With the exception of Bruce, who was suited up, and Damian, who was wearing loose martial arts robes, Tim was pretty sure that Dick was also using the time to work out shirtless, and Jason was clearly lounging back in bed with a wife beater and sweats on. The edge of a domino stuck in at the corner of his screen. At least Tim was upright on his couch and using the coffee table as a desk. 

 

“ _ I _ heard that Brucie took him to Filet and Flan.” Jason said, with a wicked grin. 

 

“I know you all know I have no idea who Sven is.” Bruce said with a sigh that said he knew he wouldn’t be able to control this tangent. “Tim, anything?” 

 

“One second, Bruce.” Tim murmured, scanning the handwritten notes alongside a report he had typed up last week. 

 

“Don’t rush him Bruce! I heard that they also went to the Green Grass Horizon charity together.” Dick gossiped. 

 

“Do hurry up, Drake.” Damian ordered, “Before I have to hear this drivel any longer.” 

 

“Working on it.” Tim hummed, not letting his shock show at hearing how much deeper,  _ still _ , Damian’s voice had gotten. He really needed to make a trip back to the manor one of these days, if just to update his files. He already knew the brat had inches on him, Bruce’s genes coming in proudly and strongly, but he also had the sneaking suspicion that Damian had only begun growing. 

 

“I have no idea how this connection was made. Those places are open to the public.” Bruce growled. 

 

“Well, discretionary public.” Dick said, with a tilt of his head. “Plus, then you both were photographed,  _ within an hour _ of each other going into Yale Yacht Club.” 

 

“The Yacht Club. Which is also  _ open to the public _ .” Bruce stressed, one gauntlet free hand coming up to rub the bridge of his nose. 

 

“Damn old man, now even I’m starting to believe something is up. You got anything you want to tell us? You know we don’t judge.” Jason said.

 

“Guys-...” Tim said, he held up a piece of paper that went entirely ignored in favor of the rest of the family's quest to get Bruce to lose his cool.

 

“Its open to  _ members _ , Bruce.” Dick said triumphantly. 

 

“Why are we pursuing this. Father is obviously not consorting with this Sven.” Damian said with a frown. 

 

“Or is he. You ready for a new Step-daddy brat?” Jason asked with a leer. 

 

“Guys-...” Tim tried again. 

 

“Don’t be asinine, Todd.” Damian sneered. 

 

“Jason.” Bruce growled. 

 

“We just want you to know we support you Bruce. Even if you want to hang out with 20 year old underwear models.” Dick said, false sincerity ringing through his voice. 

 

“ _ Tim _ .” Bruce snapped, finally desperate enough to end the conversation that he looked like he was ready to jump through the screen to help Tim look for his intel. 

 

“I got it.” Tim said, waving the piece of paper that he had been holding up. 

 

“Everyone  _ settle _ . Tim, go.” Bruce said, instantly focusing.

 

“What do ya got for me, Timmy?” Jason drawled, also sitting up and grabbing the tablet closer to him. His face expanded a little bit more on Tim’s screen. 

 

“Looks like it might be a bit more than weapons and drugs, Jay.” Tim said with a frown. “My contacts in Beijing said that a cargo ship left two days ago, possibly carrying live cargo.” 

 

“Live cargo as in someone’s zoo is going to get a bit more oriental or live cargo as in I’m going to have to dust off some of my guns.” Jason asked, all playfulness gone from his voice. It was a testament to Bruce’s stance on human trade that he didn’t even flinch at Jason’s implication. 

 

“At the risk of indirectly telling you to kill, get your guns.” Tim said, nostrils flaring in distaste at the depravity of people. 

 

“Fuck.” 

 

“Tim do you have anything in play?” Bruce asked, hands moving so they could tell he was already working on plans and contingencies. 

 

“I leaked a tip to the FBI and Coast Guard so they will both be keeping an eye out. It's possible that if Maroni gets spooked because he has an informant somewhere, he might make a short stop in Bludhaven Bay. Dick if you could alert BPD to keep an eye out at the harbor it might give us an edge, tell them it was an anonymous tip.” Tim suggested. 

 

“All over it, little brother.” Dick said, fully in screen now and tapping away at his phone. Tim absently noted that he had been right previously; there was a sheen of sweat covering Dick’s uncovered torso and his face was slightly pink from exertion. 

 

“If the cargo makes it to the Gotham docks, I think Jason can take point and run it from there. I would suggest light monitoring in the meantime; don’t scare them off. If the cargo makes it to Gotham we can control the situation better. Always here for backup, Jay.” Tim said. 

 

“Thanks, Baby bird.” Jason said tightly. 

 

“Any contingencies for if Maroni deserts course?” Bruce asked gravely. 

 

Tim smiled. He leaned forward and pulled up a few encrypted links and shot them off. He heard the little pops of notification sounds as his link appeared on the screens of his family.

 

“Those are three live trackers I have on the ship. If by some perchance all three of them go dead, I have a program running in the background to map out what the possible radius of new destinations will be.” Tim said, quietly happy at Bruce’s nod of approval. 

 

“Why do we not intercept the boat at sea?” Damian asked. “Would it not be easier to board and arrest so no one has to suffer the entire trip? It could prove fatal for the weakest among them.” 

 

“We’d need a warrant if you wanted any of the arrests to stick. Otherwise the goons will just walk free after we string them up. No judge issues a warrant based on an anonymous tip, Dami.” Dick said apologetically.

 

“And I wanna tie this back to Maroni. If we take it out at sea, he can say he had no idea how the cargo got aboard the ship. Slippery bastard.” Jason growled. 

 

“I agree with Jason and Dick.” Bruce said. “We need to let it come to us this time. If Maroni is dipping his toe into human trafficking, we need to optimize his loss to discourage him.” 

 

“This is wrong.” Damian argued, face growing hard. “Since when do we risk the lives of the few to save the many? Our job is to save all, equally.” 

 

It was an argument that they all had made from time to time, because it was the right thing to do. Unfortunately bureaucracy slipped even into their world at times and they were forced to make decisions that left them mildly uneasy. Invading now meant that they would save the lives of everyone held prisoner abroad the ship. It also meant that Maroni would try again and he would be wiser to their ways and next time maybe they would miss an entire cargo of people that would get lost into the twisted system. Cutting him off at the head was the only way to go, but fortunately Tim also had an answer to assuage Damian. 

 

“It's not going to fully alleviate your worries, Damian, but my contact is also abroad the ship.” Tim said, “I’ll get a message out to him to let us know if the hostages appear to be in any kind of imminent danger. If they are, we will reassess. Good?” 

 

“I suppose that plan is adequate.” Damian said, with a frown. Tim mentally shrugged, couldn’t win them all, kid. 

 

“Good job, Tim.” Bruce said. “I want all hands on deck. Tim, update us as you go and coordinate with Jason for the take-down. We’re ahead of Maroni, let's keep it that way.” 

 

Tim murmured his affirmation along with the rest of the team. He let the folder slide back down to the table and picked the next one up. 

 

“Okay, North side. Dick, what do you have?” 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Two hours later, Tim picked up the second to last folder in their pile of open cases. A bit of relief hit him at the feeling of almost being done. He glanced at the clock; just a little bit past one in the morning. All in all, a productive meeting that hadn’t lasted as long as some did. Most of that stemmed from Bruce’s desire to keep them on track so as avoid talking about the media’s truly ridiculous speculations that he was going out with the model, Sven. 

 

Tim really marveled at the imagination of the media; according to them he was currently engaged to the daughter of a Russian oligarch; Olga. He had actually met Olga, a perfectly lovely young woman, but too dainty for his tastes. Also too female. 

 

On screens, Bruce and Damian were trying to figure out how the Riddler was managing to specifically avoid their patrol routes in his recent reign of nightly terror. 

 

“Perhaps if we introduce an unforeseen variable?” Tim suggested, reaching for his mug of coffee. 

 

Bruce took the suggestion and played with it, debating the pros and cons aloud.

 

“Tim can you chart out a possible radius of destruction if we invade his hidey hole now? Sending you his last known location coordinates now.” Dick asked. 

 

“Sure. No problem-...” Tim started, reaching forward to swipe at his keyboard before freezing. 

 

His change in behavior was instantly noted. 

 

“Tim?” Came several voices. Tim waved a hand, indicating  _ silent _ , and strained his ears. Had that been a noise? 

 

Three beats later he dismissed it. Perhaps it had been some animal at his door. 

 

“Sorry...its nothing, I thought I heard-....” He started. 

 

Then his front door swung open. From his angle he couldn’t instantly see who was at the door and his entire body tensed in preparation for fight. Bruce had trained the  _ flight  _ reaction out of them years ago. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his family fidget abortively on screen. One hand was already reaching for the electric baton secured to the underside of the table when he heard the voice. 

 

“Honey, I’m home!” Kon sang, coming into view. 

 

A thousand emotions hit Tim all at once. He sat back in the couch, letting his hand fall away from the weapon, feeling inexplicably winded and filled with joy all at once. 

 

“Oh shit, is that Kon?” Dick exclaimed. 

 

“Hey babe!” Kon said turning to him with a thousand watt smile on a tired face. He dropped his duffel bag on the floor at the edges of the carpet he and Tim had chose together and kicked the door shut lightly. 

 

“Kon,” Tim said, hearing his own voice sound dazed, “You’re  _ home _ .” And then in the next second, he was up and jumping over the table and laptops and leaping into Kon’s arms. “You’re home!” 

 

Kon laughed into Tim’s neck where he was inhaling deeply, arms securely around Tim, holding him inches off the ground. 

 

“I’m home. Fuck, I missed you like crazy. Remind me not to take any Alpha missions for a while. They take too damn long.” 

 

“I missed you too. I thought you were supposed to be back next week.” Tim said, running a mental check on his calendar and wondering how he had managed to screw this date up. “I was going to make reservations at that new thai place we wanted to try.” He ran his hands over Kon’s body and his face, checking for injuries and also affirming to himself that it was Kon standing in front of him. 

 

“Nah, It's alright. Our guy squealed quicker than we thought. Apparently the idea of alien invasion was too traumatizing after I got done detailing the possibilities of what might happen to humans if the other race won the fight.” Kon said with a telling look in his eye. 

 

“Baby alien egg hosts?” Tim asked with a delighted grin.

 

“Baby alien egg hosts.” Kon confirmed. Before Kon had left for his mission, he and Tim had binge watched the entire alien franchise. Tim laughed at the idea of Kon terrifying someone using imagery from Ridley Scott’s imagination. 

 

“I’m sure you scared the pants off that guy. Alright, let me down, you must be exhausted. Tell me all about it tomorrow? Meantime, go take a hot shower big guy, you stink.” Tim said with a laugh as Kon pressed another kiss onto his jaw. 

 

“Or. You could join me in the shower. Help me wash.” Kon suggested, voice dropping an octave. 

 

And it was in that instant that Tim remembered that he wasn’t alone at home at the moment. Technically. And he knew with a terrible certainty that his mics had to have picked up the entire reunion. He stiffened slightly in Kon’s arms, the Super immediately reacted to his tension.

 

“What happened, whats up?” Kon’s eyes flitted about the room, trying to find the threat, letting Tim know that he was still halfway wired from the adrenaline of the mission. Goddammit; the best way for both of them to deal with post mission adrenaline was usually to fuck it out. But he couldn’t do that right now. 

 

“Nothing! Everything's fine. I’m just in a family meeting right now.” Tim said, pointing back at his set up in the living room. 

 

“What-  _ oh _ . Okay, no problem. Let me go shower, can you order me something? I’m starving.” Kon said, slowly letting Tim down onto his own feet. Tim kept his arms around Kon and pressed his head into the Super’s chest, feeling his solidness and rejoicing internally. 

 

“I made dinner. I’ll warm you a plate.” He murmured. They stood there for a few heartbeats longer, taking each other in, giving their thanks that the other hadn’t been harmed in their absence. 

 

“Gimme a kiss?” Kon asked quietly, voice pitched low now that he was aware of their audience. 

 

“Yeah.” Tim breathed, instantly compiling. A few more long moments and then Kon was pulling away with a lazy smile. 

 

“You almost done with that meeting?” He drawled. 

 

“Just about. Go shower, I’ll grab you food.” Tim said, pushing Kon back physically so as to avoid jumping back into his arms. He watched Kon look at him a moment longer, relief and content etched into his face, and then his husband walked away to their en-suite. 

 

Tim stood in the hallway until Kon disappeared around the corner and then went back to his setup, trying to control the raw emotions on his face. 

 

“Guys! Domestic bird is back.” Jason called unnecessarily since the entire family could see the second he appeared back in screen. “He decided  _ not  _ to take a spontaneous shower, Dickie Bird lunch is on you next week.” 

 

“Come on, Timmy!” Dick whined, entirely unrepentant. 

 

“Both of you are disgusting.” Damian informed them. “Even Drake deserves to be shown a modicum of respect, despite his blatant over the top public displays of affection.” 

 

“You’re just mad that you didn’t bet.” Jason said, sticking his tongue out. 

 

“Sorry about the hold up.” Tim said mostly to Bruce, unable to bring himself to even narrow his eyes at Jason and Dick. It took all he had not be smiling like a lunatic at the moment. “I just need a few more minutes, but keep going; I can hear just fine. Dick, I’ll get you those numbers in a minute.” 

 

“Thanks Timmy. I’m glad Kon got back okay. Tell him I said hi!” Dick said brightly. 

 

“Will do, Dick.” 

 

“Take all the time you need, Tim. I’m glad to hear the Alpha team’s mission was a success.” Bruce rumbled. 

 

“Are you leaving to prepare an entire meal at this hour, Drake?” Damian asked, as Tim hefted the laptop and walked it over to his kitchen island. He left it facing the sink and reached into a cabinet for dishware. 

 

“Just warming up some leftovers.” Tim said, pulling open the refrigerator door and pulling out said leftovers. He walked past the laptop and swiped absentmindedly at a notification.

 

“Ah. I see. You are being a caring spouse.” Damian said with a nod. 

 

“...Thanks?” Tim said, unsure if Damian was complimenting him or not. Most of their interactions went in that directions these days. Unlike with Jason. 

 

“Goddamn baby bird, leftovers? What happened to being a good housewife?” Jason asked with a leer. Jason’s comments were generally straightforward. 

 

“Shut up Jason. We all know you are a hardcore feminist.” Tim said with a roll of his eyes. 

 

“Touche.”

 

“Everyone focus.” Bruce said, thankfully taking the attention off Tim. “We need to finish discussing the Riddler. Dick, has any of the activity bled over to Bludhaven?” 

 

Tim let Dick’s response, and the ensuing discussion, wash over him as he rhythmically prepared the meal. He pulled out his salad from earlier in the day and frowned at the wilted leaves. He decided to spruce it up a tiny bit. 

 

“Dick, that number is wrong.” Tim said absentmindedly, grabbing a few cherry tomatoes, onions, and some cucumbers. He walked back into view of the screen and expertly cut up the veggies. “My recent stats indicate a 17 percent increase, not 27, can you double check?” He narrowed his eyes at a too thick slice of cucumber and then shrugged, popping it into his own mouth. 

 

“Damn, you’re right, Timmy. I’ll update, thanks for the catch.” Dick said, popping a pen cap off with his mouth.

 

With his mouth full of cucumber, Tim gave him a thumbs up instead and then scraped all his cut up veggies into a bowl. He glanced over at Kon’s discarded boots and duffel, but decided to leave them to deal with in the morrow. He fixed the rest of the dinner and grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator since he knew Kon didn’t like his water to be chilled. Since Kon wasn’t out by the time he was done, Tim left the plate in the warming draw and then walked back to the couch. 

 

By the time he finally heard the bedroom door open, it was sometime later and he was giving Damian a run down of his old routes in Old city so Damian could run down a copycat serial killer. 

 

“-...I’ll email you a map, but those were the main routes. He goes by traffic pattern so make sure to adjust for any changes due to construction or general flow.” Tim was saying.

 

“Babe, where are my joggers? The blue ones?” Kon called from their bedroom. 

 

“Are there any underground routes I should be aware of?” Damian asked at the same time. 

 

“Yeah- hang on, Damian.  _ In the bottom draw, Kon. Left side. _ Dami, I’ll include the underground map with the above ground. Keep in mind though; there was that earthquake a few months back. Any routes underneath central bank to westside should be too ruined to safely use.” Tim said, fingers flying across the keyboard to send Damian the maps.  

 

“Do you also fold his underwear?” Jason asked innocently.  

 

“Don’t be jealous.” Tim said mildly. 

 

“Please refrain from discussing Superboy’s undergarments in this meeting.” Bruce intoned. Dick snorted in laughter and Damian made a disgusted noise.

 

Tim thanked all the higerbeings that Kon was still in the other room. Though there was every possibility that he had still heard. 

 

“Dami, I explored the tunnels a bit more on my last case.” Dick said, “I’ll send you what I mapped out. Tim’s right, watch out for compromised structural integrity.” 

 

Kon walked out into the room, hair still wet and clothed just in the aforementioned joggers and Tim used every fiber of his will not to jump him. Or show any reaction. He flicked his eyes back down to the screen, and tried his hardest not to watch his husband out of the corner of his eyes as he lazily looped around to the kitchen. 

 

“Thanks babe.” Kon said, pulling the warm food out and jumping up to sit on the island, facing Tim. 

 

Tim smiled and shot him their personal hand sign for _ I love you  _ over the screens.

 

“Thank you Grayson, Drake. These should prove to be very useful in catching this monster.” Damian said, as he leaned forward to peruse the maps they sent. 

 

“Last order of business. Ra's. Tim, any updates?” Bruce asked. 

 

Tim tore his eyes away from where they had wandered back like a magnet to Kon. 

 

“What? Oh, uh yeah. Hang on.” He scrambled for the file, hearing Kon huff in laughter and catching Dick and Jason’s amused faces on screen. He quickly stumbled into the talking points, trying to get ahead of the comments he knew were coming. Fortunately he managed to head them off and engaged Bruce in conversation quickly. 

 

“-...and so I think we need to keep a stricter eye on the private sector. I don't know why, but Ra’s appears to be taking contracts rather than sending out his own ninja. Its highly unlike him.” Tim said. 

 

“You’re right. It's possible that if the ninja aren’t being used because there is dissension within ranks. But we need to cover all possibilities. He could be planning something big and holding back his army to build them up.” Bruce said with a frown. 

 

“Father, I believe I would make a good point of infiltration. I can go for a visit and attempt to suss out what is happening.” Damian proposed. 

 

“Tim.” 

 

Tim’s eyes flitted across the screens, trying to figure out who had called him, before he realized that the voice hadn’t come through the speakers. Kon had called out to him lightly from where he was standing right on the other side of the table. 

 

“Oh, hey. Hang on guys-” Tim batted the tops of the screens down lightly so that his face was partially obscured. “Going to bed?” 

 

“Yeah. Want me to wait for you?” Kon asked softly. Tim wanted to tell him it was no use. He had personally made the laptop, but still; he appreciated the attempts at discretion. He ignored the tinny  _ aww  _ from the laptop. 

 

“No, no it's alright. We’re almost done here and you look exhausted. I’ll join you in a bit.” He said with a content smile. Kon would be in bed with him tonight. He couldn’t wait. The super had gotten him used to sleeping with someone and now when he had to sleep alone, he found it hard to stay asleep. 

 

“Alright. Give me a kiss?” Kon leaned over the table and Tim pushed up on his knees, very aware that his flannel pajamas were on display and finding that he couldn’t care at all. He curled his arms around Kon's neck and sighed contentedly into the kiss. Kon dropped two chaste kisses lightly onto him and then pulled away; a clear sign that he was also self conscious of their audience. “Mm-Night. I love you.” 

 

“Love you.” Tim called, dropping back down onto the couch and nudging the screens back to their original positions. Kon disappeared around the corner to their bedroom and Tim felt a part of him yearn to go with him. 

 

“ _ Tiiiim _ .” Tim held back a wince. This time he knew where the voice came from. 

 

“Just get it out of your system.” He said miserably.

 

“How are you two still honeymooning?” Jason asked with a half disgusted half fascinated tone.

 

“Well Jason, when two people love each other very very much, the relationship actually lasts longer than the honeymoon stage.” Tim shot back. 

 

“Ouch Babybird. Right for the jugular.” Jason clutched a hand to his heart and Tim rolled his eyes. 

 

“Plus you two didn't really have a honeymoon.” Dick pointed out, “But I think it's adorable. I'm glad you're happy Timmy!” 

 

“I have already apologized numerous times for impeding upon your after marriage engagements!” Damian protested. Tim noted with amusement that he cut off Bruce who had probably opened his mouth to attempt to corral them back on track and was now, again, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

 

“It's okay, Damian. We didn't mind at all.” Tim assured. 

 

“Yeah brat. Don't you know that when two people get married, the one thing they want to do immediately afterwards is spend three weeks fighting off an invasive alien race, sleeping in a communal room with fifty other smelly exhausted people, while working opposite shifts?” Jason said sarcastically. 

 

“...Not all the shifts were opposing.” Tim protested lightly. 

 

“I mean if  _ anything _ , at least we know for absolute certain that Tim isn't in an abusive relationship.” Dick said matter of factly, as if the circumstance had been discussed in detail before. 

 

Bruce grunted in agreement. 

 

“....what?” Tim asked, baffled. 

 

“This is true. Despite the utter threat against humanity and the increasingly difficult weeks that followed, we were able to ensure the validity of Superboy's emotional attachment to Drake's well being. Though it was not my intention, I am gladdened by this happenstance.” Damian said with a serious nod. 

 

“I had that bat made and everything.” Jason said mournfully. “Took forever to melt the kryptonite onto the nails.”  

 

“What is happening.” Tim said, bewildered at the turn the conversation had taken. 

 

“What? You didn’t think we weren’t going to check out the guy you wanted to marry?” Dick asked incredulously, as if Tim was being the irrational one. Tim also saw Bruce raise an eyebrow at him, as if Dick was saying something  _ reasonable _ . 

 

“But...but its  _ Kon _ . You  _ know  _ Kon. You’ve known Kon longer than you’ve known me!” Tim protested. 

 

“Well, sure. But Kon’s not my baby brother.” Dick said slowly. 

 

“I’m not either! Damian is your baby brother. I’m the responsible one that’s married to one of your  _ best friends _ !” 

 

“Drake, the moment I surpassed you in height was also the moment I relinquished the title of ‘Baby Brother’ onto you. As the rest of us are already well aware.” Damian said with an elegant eyebrow raised. 

 

“That makes no sense!” Tim argued, slightly shrilly. 

 

“Don’t fight it baby bird.” Jason advised with a laugh that said that seeing Tim’s torment was causing him joy. 

 

“Bruce!” Tim protested, a part of him unable to believe that he was still going to their father at this age for defense against his brothers. 

 

“You are all my children.” Bruce intoned. “Now if we could-...” 

 

“This is ridiculous!” Tim exclaimed. “What did you do? Did you run a background check? Did you interview his friends? Did you stalk his day to day routine to see if he was actually a criminal mastermind?” 

 

“I mean all of that? And then the talk.” Dick said scratching the side of his head. 

 

“Wait, Dickie, you gave him the talk? I thought that was suppos’ta be my duty? I gave him the talk too.” Jason said, sitting up. 

 

“What? No! That was my thing because I’m the oldest.” Dick said raising an eyebrow. 

 

“Oh my god.” Tim dropped his head into his hands. And then Damian spoke. 

 

“...I too might have had words with Drake’s spouse…” 

 

“What?!” Tim asked, head shooting up and feeling oddly betrayed and incredibly blindsided. 

 

“I heard that it was customary for one’s relatives to do so. It was an entertaining process.” Damian said. 

 

Tim felt horror as he tried to figure out what Damian would consider an ‘entertaining process’. Was Kon even with him because he loved him? Or because he feared the repercussions if he left him?! 

 

“Boys. Can we please get back on track?” Bruce cut in before Tim could finish processing. 

 

“Wait a minute...Old man...you didn’t-” Jason burst out laughing before he could finish his sentence at the look on Bruce’s face. 

 

“What?” Dick asked before the realization hit him and he also dissolved into laughter. “Oh, Bruce.  _ You didn’t. _ ” 

 

“Bruce?” Tim’s voice was a strangled thing. 

 

“Tim...it was my responsibility as your Father-...” 

 

“Oh my god.” 

 

“Tim. It's completely normal for me to want to ensure-....” 

 

_ “Oh. My. God.” _

 

“Let's not overreact-...” 

 

“Overreact?!” Tim’s voice was a high pitched shriek that he instantly quieted, looking in the direction of the bedroom to see if he had disturbed Kon.

 

“ _ Overreact _ ?” He hissed a few seconds later, when it became apparent that Kon wasn’t going to run in. “Every single one of you gave him the Bat version of  _ the talk. _ He’s probably terrified to leave me. Oh god. Oh god, I  _ knew  _ it was going too well. We don’t fight about anything major and he always knows what I need even if it's not what I  _ want  _ and he never says anything when I wake him up in the middle of the night to talk about a case. Or when I use some of his shirts as bandages. And he can always tell what I want to eat even though  _ I don’t even know I want _ it and even when he’s tired he still-...” Tim froze halfway through his babbled speech as he finally caught on to the looks he was getting from his entire family. “What?” He asked defensively. 

 

“Baby Bird. I’m only going to say this once. That boy loves you.” Jason said matter of factly. 

 

“I’m going to have to agree with Jay here, Timmy. You just became the golden standard. Don’t question it.” Dick said with a smile. 

 

“Are you all willfully choosing to have sudden selective memories?” Tim hissed. “What if he’s just playing along so he doesn’t get beaten up by a  _ kryptonite bat _ ?” 

 

“I would never approve of someone for you if they were not willing to lay their life down on the line.” Bruce said as if that were a totally normal thing to say. 

 

“Tim-...” 

 

“Babe.” 

 

Tim’s head snapped from where Dick had called his name to Kon standing in the doorway, eyes half lidded and an amused expression on his face. 

 

“I leave for ten minutes and you start doubting me? Come on, Tim.” Kon said easily. 

 

“Kon! I…” 

 

“Nope. Nope. Hush. Its bedtime.” Kon said, walking over to him and bending forward a bit so he was visible on the screens. 

 

“Hey Bat-gang. Hello Batman...Bat-dad in law. Damn, I’m going to regret that in the morning.” Kon said, scratching his head lightly and seemingly unbothered that he was half naked in front of his in laws. 

 

Tim heard Jason bark a laugh. He saw the utter look of glee spread across Dick’s face and knew he was about to be mortified. 

 

“Anyway. So I just got back from saving the world, and I think that should get me some kind of reward. Nothing major, just if I could take my husband here and go to bed without spending the rest of the night convincing him that I do in fact love him, probably way too much and yes Tim,  _ for real, _ that would be real great.” Kon drawled, words interspersed with intermittent yawns. 

 

“Drake is not a  _ prize  _ to be procured-...” Damian started hotly, before being cut off. 

 

“Superboy. Good work with Alpha team. Take Tim and get some rest. Tim, check in tomorrow so we can finish the last report.” Bruce ordered. Tim sensed that he was amused behind the serious words. 

 

“Bruce, I can-...” Tim started. 

 

“ _Yeaaaah_ _Tim_ , get some!” Jason cheered. Tim cheeks flushed red. 

 

“Jason.” He hissed. 

 

“I’m all over it.” Kon said seriously, quite possibly not realizing what he had just said in his exhaustion. He reached with one hand and grabbed Tim around the middle. “Good night Bat-fam. Night Bat-Dad in law. Shit, I’ve gotta stop saying that.” 

 

“Kon, wait!” Tim protested as Kon literally pulled him off the couch and into his arms. 

 

“No waiting, baby. Gotta go get some bed.” Kon said, moving on autopilot. 

 

“Night Timmy!” Tim heard Dick call out cheerfully. 

 

“Kon!...  _ Kon _ !...At least let me shut everything down.” Tim argued as Kon carried him into their bedroom and kicked the door shut. 

 

“Nope. Batman will probably hack in and do it remotely for you. Its Us Time.” Kon said seriously before dropping Tim on the bed. He didn’t give Tim a chance to roll away and quite literally fell on top of him, gathering Tim’s body into the space of his own. 

 

Despite himself, Tim let out a wheeze of laughter. 

 

“You turn into a cuddle monster worse than Dick when you’re tired, you know that?” He said, into the hollow of Kon’s throat. 

 

“Hmm.” 

 

“I know you love me.” Tim said. 

 

“Mhmm. Remind you tomorrow. Too tired now.” Kon murmured.

 

“I know either way.” Tim said, though the promise of sex made him smile. “I’m sorry they all gave you the talk before we got married. You never told me.” 

 

“‘S no problem. Means they love you.” Kon breathed, fastly approaching sleep. 

 

“Still. They know you. There was no need.” Tim insisted. 

 

“‘S fine babe. Second time. Knew what to expect. Firs’ time was scarier.” Kon said languidly. 

 

In his arms, Tim froze. First time? What did that mean ‘first time’? Unless...No. There was no way that Kon had gotten the talk from his family when they had started dating….was there? 

 

“First time?...Kon…. _ Kon _ ??” But it was no use. Kon was a heavy dead weight atop him, finally having given in to his exhaustion. Tim knew that short of a serious emergency there was no getting him up. And while his mind was racing and he was burning for answers, he knew that this was no emergency. It would just have to wait till tomorrow. 

 

Tim shifted carefully so he could see the lax face of his husband above him. He gave a huff of laughter, wondering why he ever let his insecurities get in the way here, and settled back down with his husband. 

 

“Love you, Kon.” Tim whispered. “Goodnight.” 


End file.
